JULIET
PEREIRA
9-8-1928 –
23-8-2012
A tribute by
Cyprian Fernandes
Julie Coelho was born in Nairobi and attended the Dr. Ribeiro Goan School in Parklands.
She had three brothers: Cassie, Johnny, Valentine and, Irene, (married Oscar D’Souza) was her only sister
Besides her regular job as an administrative assistant with C.J. Valentine, she worked at the Nairobi Races with Ben every weekend
Julie loved people, life and everything to do with it. She and Ben had many friends - old and young alike and were always the centre of attraction at any event. Here are some of the comments we've had these past few days:
Braz Menezes: "Ben and Julie were an institution to us growing up"
Tina de Mello: "Julie was an icon of fashion, laughter and happiness to many of us in our generation"
Pam Gonsalves: "They were lovely role models for us growing up. Their tricky dance steps and Ben's cow cow boogie/singing we admired and maybe tried to copy many a time!"
A VERY SPECIAL NOTE FROM A VERY SPECIAL SISTER-IN-LAW: Cicely Noronha: We had gone to Mombasa one Easter weekend and I can so clearly remember Julie insisting on dragging me across the busy Kilindini road just so she could introduce me to her first cousin Jonas, whom she felt was the man for me!! I wasn't so sure at the time, but I have to thank Julie for 46 happy years!
The year was 1960 in Nairobi, Kenya.
It was November, that special month full of anticipation of the coming
Christmas season. November was always a beautiful kind of month, not too hot,
not too cold and not too wet. What made it special were the soft temperate
breezes that kissed most of the country. There she was, Julie. She wore
elbow-length black lace gloves, a midnight blue evening gown and something,
perhaps a discreet tiara in her hair if not there was big red flower. She was
the picture of elegant womanhood, nay she was beautiful. She lit up the Nairobi
Goan Institute hall with that unbelievable smile. She was attempting to do the
twist at the Legion of Mary dance but she was being interrupted regularly by a
posse of well- wishers. Her partner, husband Ben, was more animated, from time
to time telling various friends: Be careful, people will talk. And everyone
burst into fits of laughter. The laughter continued unabated as Ben offered
several friends a free blood test.
Meanwhile, after patiently listening
to Ben’s antics, she told him, interspersed with that infectious laugh of hers:
See now Ben, people are looking at you come on, take it easy . And he made
those pretend “I am angry with you eyes” (which quickly exploded into the
naughtiest grin you ever saw) and said: Do, Do, leave it, it is just some harmless
fun. The thing about Ben was that you just had to look at him and you would
crack up laughing because he was always saying something or doing something
that burst the dams of your laughter. Julie was the serene, pretty, charming
assistant to magician Ben.
She gave up, but unfrustrated. That
night there would be a thousand more laughs and a thousand more jokes. I am
sure that some of you were at the GI, the RI or Goan Gymkhana. Julie always
made us all happy and today even as we celebrate her life, we are happy that we
have been able to play some small part in such a beautiful person’s life
because as we celebrate Julie’s wonderful life, we celebrate ours to. As
Julie’s generation and my generation bid farewell to life on earth, our friends
and relations will also be saying farewell to a special way of life. Julie’s
generation (and the generations before) were the lucky ones because they saw most of the best
of life in colonial Kenya and a little of sadness as we were pushed out by the
changing political winds. Thus in a couple of decades the unique East African
Goan tribe will be no more. There is no room for regret because that was a time
for Kenya and more recently it has been a time for Australia, New Zealand, USA,
Canada, UK or Europe.
For Ben and Julie it was the bestest
of times. They attracted young people like bees to a honeycomb. They were
always surrounded by young people. Sport, (cricket, hockey, badminton, table
tennis, snooker, billiards) the club, the church, parties, picnics, sports
visits, the racecourse, holidays in Mombasa, Malindi, fishing and much more. From
a very early age, Julie played badminton, table tennis and won many trophies at
the old RGI and hockey. She would love sport for the rest of her life. And they share all this with Andy and Gilli.
They had one other special friend in their life: Oditi, cook and general help,
he was a very special kind of person who loved the Pereiras as his own. With
marriage came two big extended family clans:
Julie’s folks the Coelhos and Ben’s folks the Pereiras. These two very
talented and wonderful families have spread even more with grandchildren. Julie was especially close to
her late sister Irene and Ben’s sisters Clarice, Ivy, Cicely and Susan. Ben’s
brother Rom and his family were also among her many favourites.
The Jokers, an eclectic group of young
people, usually ended up at Ben and Julies after the dance for a special breakfast,
sorportel on toast at Christmas when several of their neighbours would be
without their daily milk supply. Most of these guys and I spent around 14 years
of our life with Ben and Julie in Kenya. We did everything together. We were
all a bunch of nuts and it took a special kind of a lady to put up with our
antics. Can’t ever remember a cross word. Julie was the woman for every time
and every place. She was just at home in Eastleigh, Pangani, South C, South B, Nairobi
West, or High Ridge, Kileleshwa , Muthaiga or any of the more expensive
suburbs.
So what made our Julie so special. For
one thing she did not have a negative bone in her body. How could she with that
wonderful, loving smile and two ready arms for family and anyone who needed
help. Just ask her adoring daughters in
law and her grandchildren. Perhaps it comes from the unconditional love those
two scallywags, Gilli and Andy gave their mother. Like their dad before them,
they teased her, joked with her, made laugh and loved her with a passion reserved
for a family who been through the mill of good and hard times and has come
through because together they are a powerful but unassuming family. We had some
great times, great laughs, and shared a life that we were always proud of.
And so to Australia, Ben and Julie’s
resting place. A friend helped the Pereiras get to Australia when they were in
their greatest peril in Uganda, just as Idi Amin was throwing out all the
Asians. Australia came as a breath of fresh air. It was a happy time again. Ben
and Julie were soon at work and Gil and Andy settled well at school and were
soon having their friends over. These friends gave Ben and Julie a lot of pride
and happiness. Even greater happiness lay in the friends they made at church.
Church is very big in every Goan Catholic heart. Julie loved working for the
church and St Vincent de Paul. This was her sanctuary and it brought her great
comfort. And then of course there were some
old friends from Kenya and new friends from all over Australia. However, it was
the friends in Melbourne who were soon to play a truly great role in Julie’s
life.
When we lost Ben, Julie put on her
usual brave face and with a heavy heart appeared to the public to suffer her
loss with great dignity. But it was a truly great love story and greater the
love, the harder it is to come to terms with the loss. Gil and Cathy, Andy and
Caroline took on the task of rescuing Julie. She could not stay in the house
with all those memories of Ben and moved in with Andy and Carolyn. It took nine
months of nurturing and caring by the two boys and their families to get to the
point where Julie was able to move out on her own. Cathy and Carolyn are two
very special people. They come from caring, nurturing, kindly Australian
families and in Julie’s toughest hour they gave of themselves unflinchingly.
They were Julie’s special angels. And it was the friends from church and the
Goan community who helped the boys help their mother to achieve some semblance
of normality. Then of course there was the strength she drew from her church.
Her faith was unshakeable and as the months passed she seemed blessed by her
faith and the love of her God. The smile was always there but now there was new
energy in her laughter, a little like those old days. She travelled a little
but the boys and their families were never too far away.
What really gave Julie a new lease on
life were the grandchildren: Ben, Sam, Adam, Dan and Stephanie. These guys
showered their gran with a love that filled her heart with joy and renewed her
will to live.
That is why I say that in farewelling
our dearest friend, we celebrate the life we shared with Julie. Julie lit up
the hearts and minds of the hundreds of people she met. We were the lucky ones
for having met and known Julie. As Ben would say, stop it Cippy, people will
talk.
Our sincere condolences to Andy and Caroline,
Gil and Cathy and to their children and
to the extended families of the Pereiras and the Coelhos. Goodbye Julie. Memories of you fill my heart with a million smiles.
Gilbert Pereira
I would like to thank Skip for his
kind words about Mum.
I would like to talk about mum’s other
qualities which as a son I will always remember as she was not only the other
half of the famous Pereira duo but an Individual in her own right.
She Loved to travel: When she was about 37 she organized
her Overseas Tour to Europe visiting Rome Paris Venice etc. on her own, which
back then was unheard of and with numerous trips with and without Dad over the
years* she was in her element. I was with her on her last one in 2010 when she
attended her nephew’s wedding in Perth and she savoured every moment of it.
She was a Dance Teacher: Back in
Nairobi everyone wanted to emulate the Pereira’s steps as she was so patient,
all the males at the club queued up for lessons.
She was a Matchmaker: The most famous
being when She hitched My Dads sister Cicely to her Cousin Jonas and after 46
years are still together.
She was a Fashion Diva: In her heyday
till recently, instilling the value to Andy & Myself that you always
dressed Up not Down & always believed in looking fine
She was a Role Model: In cahoots with
Dad as I have found out from many a couple around the Globe over the last week
who knew Ben & Julie that they always wanted to be like them in every way
The
Standout for me though was her courage & determination when we arrived in
Australia By incorporating her Work Life, Family &
Social obligations into one, and working hard to succeed in all of them which
she did, as she was the glue for the Pereira Family back then. A
number of times over the 35+ Years Mum demonstrated these Qualities and proved
to herself and us boys that anything was possible if you work hard enough at
it.
A
big hurdle that she had to deal with was the passing of Dad as mentioned. She
landed at Greenwood Avenue Ringwood with the goal ahead to be independent again
and slowly but surely she accomplished this.
I
remember how proud we all were when Mum announced she had walked to Eastland
organized her grocery shop and paid her first set of bills.
She
also involved herself with Our Ladies Parish, not only as a parishioner at the
Church but also a member of the Evergreen Club that was based there, where she
met new friends and went on many weekend and Day outings. Her other hobbies
included table-tennis and water aerobics. She also made dinner for the family
every Sunday and Entertained whenever she could, not forgetting the Dances or
Parties she just had to be at.
She
was so busy the family had to make an appointment to see her because of her hectic
social schedule.
All
this would not have been possible without the many good friends some of whom are
here today.
Mum
made a difference to lot of people’s lives in knowing her. We can be comforted
in the thought she is in good company now with Dad and other family and
friends. She will always be in our hearts.
Stephanie Pereira
Nana
When I was little I just assumed that
everyone had a nana like me. It wasn’t until I was a teenager did I realise how
fortunate Daniel and I were to have 2 Nana’s.
I remember spending a lot of time with
nana when I was younger. I think after poppy passed away I even became her date
to social events.
Poppy used to take me in the car to
pick nana up from the station after she finished work sometimes and I have
always remembered hiding in the back seat and yelling BOO Nana! I would then
laugh so hard when she pretended to be so frightened and she would call out to
her mommy. She always played along no matter what her day was like.
I know because she always told me that
it was her job as our nana to spoil us. She tried so hard to give us everything
we wanted. When I was maybe 10 she gave me coffee when I was curious about what
she was drinking. She gave me a shandy before I even knew what was in a shandy.
She knew all our favourite dishes and would make them for us on Sunday nights
when we all had dinner together.
Having Nana live so close to my high
school allowed me to spend even more time with her. Daniel and I would meet at
nana’s house after school, while waiting to be picked up we would drink all her
lemonade and try and change the TV channel when she wasn’t looking. I would
also pop in sometimes with friends on the way to Eastland they loved coming
over to Nanas house because it was so different to their nanas houses. And when
I got an after school job I would go to nanas first to get changed have a coffee
and watch the “bold and the beautiful” with her. Nana had a way of making me
feel like she had been waiting all day to see me and as I left her day was
complete.
When I got my license and my own car
occasionally I used to take nana to run some errands at Eastland and after
spending just an hour there I would walk out having a new group of contacts and
friends – a pharmacist, a barista, a bank teller and a butcher all of whom Nana
would proudly announce “this is my granddaughter Stephanie”.
I will miss her giggle I will miss her
voice I will miss her pointy finger and I will miss making her laugh.
Nana. Daniel, Ben, Sam, Adam and I
will carry our memories of you in our hearts forever and when we speak of you
we will speak with love, pride and gratitude for all the wonderful moments we
shared with you.
Andy Pereira
Jambo it's the only word I learnt in
Swahili.
Romeo and Juliet, Ginger Rogers, Fred
Astaire, Bonnie and Clyde, Agent 86 and 99,
Homer and Marg, Benjamin Vincent Francis and Juliet Pereira, a match
made in heaven. Whilst they were not movie stars, in our eyes they were
superstars and I'm sure those of you that were touched by them would agree
actually looking at the photo at the back, mum was beautiful
Some 38 years ago they made the
biggest sacrifice for Gil and I by leaving the deep dark jungles of Africa
where the lions and elephants roamed free. We arrived in the lucky land of Oz
where we eventually ended up in the leafy suburbs of Ringwood this was only
made possible by Uncle Karl and Aunty Loretta
We eventually moved in to a two
bedroom unit with very little personal belongings however we did have two
elephant feet
Dad had an incredible talent in making
friends with anyone and everyone. Dad would walk down the street and come home with five new friends for lunch, dinner or just drinks.
For mum she found it a little harder
where she missed her family and friends however she was totally committed to
making it work for Gil and I
Mum was a fashion queen. I remember at
the tender age of 5 we had purple tailored suits made for us and we always were
the best dressed boys on the block
I recall walking to Our Lady's Parish
one day with the family, we didn't have a car at the time. It was around
the mid seventies, fashion in Australia was staggers jeans, blue miller shirts,
blue connie jackets. There we were dressed in pastel flares, high heel
shoes and that's what I was wearing. The said “look out The Jackson Five have
arrived”. Mum was never fazed
The happiest moment for mum was when
they bought our home at 5 Braimton Court. She was so proud of the 3 bedroom split
level AV Jennings home with orange shag pile carpet orange light fittings and
that bright green kitchen
She also had us doing all the
housework. Where was Oditti?
Mum was a beautiful cook and she loved
sitting at the table eating, drinking and laughing, affectionately known as
giggles The parties we had during those wonderful years are still talked about,
which also included all our friends
Mum was also very strong minded (stubborn)
really if mum wanted to go left we all went left. In the last 3 months she was
not well Carolyn would go and visit and try and feed her as mum stopped eating
she would get those eyes and a firm No.
Mum has been on a long journey and
some 20 years and 8 months ago her beloved Ben passed away. She now has finally
reached her destination
Dad told me two important things that
I'm sure you have heard before
You are dealt the cards, play the hand.
Well mum certainly did that, she was a proud Aussie, she never ever complained
about her journey to Australia, she loved everything about Australia especially
the tennis. She was very vocal supporting Pat Cash, Pat Rafter and any
Australian Olympian, not to mention those Aussie Soaps! Mum adored Melbourne
The other was live life to it's fullest and when I look at
all of you here today who have come to celebrate her life she did exactly that
Kwaheri Mum we love you
Thank you Skip for sharing Ben and
Julie’s beautiful life in Nairobi with us.
Adam Pereira
If Nana wasn’t taking us to Mcdonalds
and the Movies, she would be cooking up a feast and laughing with us boys, we
always had fun at Nanas, playing tricks on her, making funny faces or even
dressing her up in our clothes, all to see and hear her amazing laugh, everyone
here I’m sure is familiar with her laugh because there wasn’t a day when you
wouldn’t hear it.
As young boys nana was always so
generous, always feeding us and always giving us presents and money, we saw a
lot of Nana and we all cherished the time that we got to spend with her.
We loved it when nana slept over at
our house on Christmas Eve it was like tradition, we all got to share presents
and she got to watch our priceless faces when receiving her slightly weird but
practical presents.
We saw Nana a lot over the last couple
of months, she could never remember my name and often called me Trevor but we
still knew she that loved my brothers and I.
Although it was hard seeing Nana in
the state that she was in, we always tried to make her smile and laugh, because
we would do anything to make her happy and I know that she would do the same
for us.
Even though she is gone, we know that
she will always be with us, as a bit of nana is in us all, I know this is a sad
occasion, but we should also feel rejoice, that nana is out pain and that she
has been reunited with her loving husband.
We love you Nana.
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