WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

 Why we love children

 

A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.
'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,'  explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move.


A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
later.....'Da-ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of  water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later:  'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of  water??'
' I told you  NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you  bring a drink of water?'

An exasperated mother, whose son was  always getting into mischief,
finally asked him 'How do you expect to  get into Heaven?'
The boy  thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door 

until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay  out!''

 

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little  girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and  said,

 'That is a very pretty dress.  Is it your Easter Dress?'The little  girl replied, directly into the
minister's clip-on microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's  a bitch to iron.'


 A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is  nine....'
His mother  heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my  math homework, Mum.'
'And this is  how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
'Yes,' he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the  teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are  learning addition.'
The mother  asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she  answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is  four.'


One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is
falling!'
The teacher paused, then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
'Holy Shit! A  talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.


A certain little girl, when asked  her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.'
Her mother told her this was wrong, she  must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday  School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but  mother says I'm not.'


A little girl asked her mother,  'Can I go outside and play with the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play  with the boys, they're too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a  few moments and asked, 'If I can find  a smooth one, can I play with him?'

Now keep that smile  on your face and pass it on to someone else!!