Skip to main content

WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

 Why we love children

 


A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.
'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,'  explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move.


A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
later.....'Da-ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of  water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later:  'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of  water??'
' I told you  NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you  bring a drink of water?'



An exasperated mother, whose son was  always getting into mischief,
finally asked him 'How do you expect to  get into Heaven?'
The boy  thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door 

until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay  out!''

 

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little  girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and  said,

 'That is a very pretty dress.  Is it your Easter Dress?'The little  girl replied, directly into the
minister's clip-on microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's  a bitch to iron.'


 A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is  nine....'
His mother  heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my  math homework, Mum.'
'And this is  how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
'Yes,' he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the  teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are  learning addition.'
The mother  asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she  answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is  four.'


One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is
falling!'
The teacher paused, then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
'Holy Shit! A  talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.


A certain little girl, when asked  her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.'
Her mother told her this was wrong, she  must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday  School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but  mother says I'm not.'


A little girl asked her mother,  'Can I go outside and play with the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play  with the boys, they're too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a  few moments and asked, 'If I can find  a smooth one, can I play with him?'


Now keep that smile  on your face and pass it on to someone else!!
 

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

MORE photos of cricketers in Kenya added

More cricket photos added! Asians v Europeans, v Tanganyika, v Uganda, v East Africa, Rhodesia, etc some names missing! Photo Gallery of Kenya Cricket 23 photos: CM Gracias, Blaise d'Cunha Johnny Lobo! Ramanbhai Patel, Mehboob Ali, Basharat Hassan and hundreds others.  

Pinto: Blood on Western and Kenyan hands

  BOOK REVIEW   Pinto: Blood on Western and Kenyan hands   Review by Cyprian Fernandes     Pio Gama Pinto, Kenya’s Unsung Martyr 1927-1965 Edited by Shiraz Durrani [Vita Books, Kenya, 2018, 392 pp.   Pbk, £30, ISBN 978-9966-1890-0-4; distributed worldwide by African Books Collective, www.africanbookscollective.com ]   Less than two years after independence from the British, on 24 February 1965, the Kenyan nationalist Pio Gama Pinto was gunned down in the driveway of his Nairobi home.   His young daughter watched helplessly in the back seat of the family car.   Pinto, a Member of Parliament at the time, was Kenya’s first political martyr.   One man was wrongly accused of his death, served several years in prison and was later released and compensated.   Since then no one has been charged with the murder.   Now the long-awaited book on Pio Gama Pinto is finally here, launched in Nairobi on 16 October 2018....

The sanctuaries trying to save birds of prey from extinction in Kenya

  The sanctuaries trying to save birds of prey from extinction in Kenya (Courtesy of Al Jazeera) Poison, deforestation and power lines have pushed the African raptor population to a 90 per cent decline in the last 40 years. Raptor technician John Kyalo Mwanzia rehabilitates a juvenile fish eagle to flight after it was treated for grounding injuries sustained in a territorial fight at the Lake Naivasha habitat, at Soysambu Raptor Centre. [Tony Karumba/AFP] Simon Thomsett tentatively removes a pink bandage from the wing of an injured bateleur, a short-tailed eagle from the African savannah, where birds of prey are increasingly at risk of extinction. “There is still a long way to go before healing,” Thomsett explains as he lifts up the bird’s dark feathers and examines the injury. “It was injured in the Maasai Mara national park, but we don’t know how,” says the 62-year-old vet who runs the Soysambu Raptor Centre in central Kenya. The 18-month-old eagle, with a dist...